Pregnancy for me has definitely been a roller coaster of emotions and new sensations. Now that I am 35 weeks pregnant and on my break from work, I have been able to reflect, from my perspective as a yoga teacher, on my learning during this time.
1st quarter
The first few months I was very happy with the news of my pregnancy. I had the opportunity to continue offering my services as a Yoga Teacher and at least for the first 2 months I was able to continue my sustained yoga practice. However, last month (3rd) I got sick due to having a little anemia. At this moment I felt very weak, tired, sad and without desire for anything. My lesson here was : acceptance.
Acceptance in yoga means detachment from what is supposed to be and accepting the present moment. Acceptance is not about turning around and becoming a victim. It's about loving yourself, treating yourself with care, and putting yourself in a state of peace so that you can then think clearly about what will be most enriching for you next.
2nd quarter
Suddenly, I started to feel better. The uterus began to rise, the placenta implantation has already happened and I am out of danger. Daily energy returned and I felt productive, creative and hormonally balanced. However, in my 23rd week I was diagnosed with a 'short cervix' and I had to be under medication and could not do physical excess (not much yoga), in addition to other things. It was quite challenging for me. My lesson here was: surrender.
Putting in a surrender practice helped me understand that there are situations that one has to let flow instead of controlling them. Surrendering is letting go, giving in to the experience, resting, being a witness, letting yourself go with the flow. This surrender, dedication or acceptance frees us from depending on the ego and the thinking mind to do our work and allows us to get in touch with something deeper. Instead, we are moved by the intuition of the subtle body, the divine within us.
By stopping fighting the way things are, we open ourselves to the experience of spaciousness. Inviting openness in yoga or meditation invites possibility. When we abandon the battle against the body and the mind, both the body and the mind are free to reveal to us the inner peace that is already present. Free from expectations and free from needing things to be a certain way, the barriers between subject and object begin to dissolve.
3rd quarter
During this time my baby and I are healthy. I am currently off medications and was happily able to continue offering my services until my 8th month of pregnancy. It has been a joy to feel my baby and be more connected to the magic that is the transformation of the body during this stage. I continue my sustained daily yoga practice and am just waiting. While waiting, some fears and anxieties have arisen, but also moments of joy and emotion. Time has definitely slowed down and a big part of me wants to travel, explore and move from where I am. My lesson here has been so far: impermanence.
Nothing in this life is permanent. In yoga the sense of permanence is an illusion. We sometimes think that we will be in a situation or feeling for a long time and this is just part of a much more powerful equation that we cannot see in the moment. Not only is impermanence worth embracing in times of difficulty, when we are reminded , this too shall pass...but great opportunities also come. It is because of the beautiful fact that nothing is fixed or set in stone that we are able to transform.
Conclusion
These lessons have helped me grow and be more aware of my mind, my body and connect with the present moment. Each stage of our lives comes with lessons and that is why it is important to maintain a practice of reflection to take a closer look at where we were and how far we have come. I hope it helps you read about my lessons since it applies to any area of our lives.
With love and see you soon,
Chris
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